Socially awkward moments

September 28, 2009

Throughout life one is bound to run into a myriad of social situations where tact, delicacy and quick thinking can prevent potential embarrassment or tension. Funny thing is that I was talking during lunch with friends and there was an event where one friend thought another friend didn’t know about but did and you can imagine roughly where that went, unnecessarily tiptoeing around the event. So here is another list for your perusal since I am a lazy git.

  • Having friends find out about your events… when they have not been invited – lose lose situation, you invite them and they think you do it because you are found out, you don’t invite them and it is rubbing salt on the wound. Guess who’s party you won’t be going to next?
  • Being walked in on whilst making out – although the level of embarrassment is quite dependent on who walks in on you, getting caught with your pants down is never cool, especially when you are caught shagging a whale like this guy
  • Walking in on someone making out – same as above, God forbid you walking in on your parents or something disgusting like that. You probably never want to be shown the orifice from where you first saw the world.
  • Getting caught badmouthing your boss’s kid – he’s a retard amongst retards, incompetent and lazy and requires copious amounts of training to be able to perform basic menial tasks. He is the type of kid who fails at maccas. His dad also owns your company and pays your bills and you can tell where the son got it from… and you accidentally sent the email to your boss.
  • Calling someone by the wrong name – you could be banging the brains out of the hottest woman ever and you suddenly call your mum’s name, or you could call the payroll lady something obscene by accident, a name is something people should not forget because if you do forget it this type of shit happens and you never hear from that hot chick again or you are behind a month of rent due to “clerical errors” with the payroll system
  • You try to fix an expensive piece of equipment… and fail… and you don’t own it – so you have fixed your own $5 dollar watch and you try to help out your girlfriend’s dad with his rolex only to realize that you stabbed a screwdriver through the screen. Good luck getting out of this one.
  • Sending the wrong text messages – sucks to be this guy. Usually these mistakes are fairly innocent, but it could be catastrophic to relationships and people’s social perception of you.
  • Getting caught as a sexual deviant – you could be selling a house and accidentally misplace your dildo with the cereal, or be caught during “Sam’s happy time”. Trying to time how long it took for your erection to disappear will require an atomic clock. Though stuffing the goods back in your pants will take a bit longer.
  • Mistaken identity – so that person looks like somebody you used to know once upon a time, you go up to them and ask if they remember you, worse still if you cover their eyes and say “guess who?”. They turn out to be rude and sue you for harrassment. You lose the lawsuit.
  • Not knowing which identical twin is which – well they look the same and you were never that close with them in the first place so you never learnt to differentiate properly. Sometimes more frustrating than awkward.
  • You fart loudly… in church… and it echoes –  God forgives all, just make sure you tell the priest next confession that it really wasn’t the guy next to you.
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One Response to “Socially awkward moments”

  1. Tina said

    hahhaa..sum awkward moments indeed.

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